The Three Stooges Debunk MyRA

A little skit ran through my head the other day…

The house lights dimmed and the bright American flag glistened in the background. The crowd hushed as a tall man in a strange costume strode confidently onto the stage. 

Curly turned to Larry and Moe and exclaimed, “Oh my, that’s our favorite—Uncle Sam, our boyhood hero.” Moe put his finger to his lips as if to say “Shhh!”

Uncle Sam rapped the microphone with his fingernail and the sound echoed throughout the hall. He then bellowed out, “Hello, my fellow Americans!” and the crowd cheered wildly.

He continued, “Today I want to announce the deal of a lifetime. We all know that IRAs and 401(k)s are tools greedy rich people use to save for retirement. I’m here to announce a new retirement program for everyday, ordinary people. Everyone should have the right to retire safely and with dignity, and that is what we are going to do for you.”

Uncle Sam paused until the applause died down.

“Today we have introduced a new retirement program called myRA. It’s pretty simple. Your employer can withdraw as little as $5 from your paycheck, and it will be invested in a new government bond that will earn the same variable-rate interest as those available through the government Thrift Saving Plan Government Securities Investment Fund (G fund). If you change jobs, it is totally portable. You can take it with you.

“While the final details are still being worked out, you can invest your money into safe, interest-bearing bonds and let it grow tax free. And the best part is: when you take your distribution out, you don’t have to pay taxes on it either. 

“So, there you have it! You can have money taken out of your paycheck in small amounts. It will be invested in variable-interest government bonds paying a good return, and it will be there for your retirement along with Social Security, TAX FREE! Don’t ever say Uncle Sam isn’t looking out for you.