“Why This Stock Market Will Never Go Down”

While the last thing we would like to do is bring even more attention to today’s grand slam in financial trollery, the following article by the ironically-named MarketWatch author Michael Sincere is just too funny to pass by.

 

Presenting: “Why this stock market will never go down” which contains such stunning pearls of financial insight as the following:

Everyone believes the U.S. stock market has reached a permanently high plateau.Everyone, that is, but the bears.

Last week’s Investors Intelligence survey showed bearish sentiment at its lowest since 1987 (13.3%). In fact, short-sellers have nearly disappeared along with the few remaining bears. In addition, the VIX is at historic lows (near 12), which reflects investor complacency.

Put another way, almost no one believes this market will go down.

Wait, “permanently high plateau“? When was the last time we heard that line. Oh wait, nevermind.

That said, the author does point out the clear inherent falacy in his premise, namely that there no longer is any retail participation in a market which everyone realizes is too rigged, too manipulated and too broken to hope to even break even:

Ironically, retail investors are not as gung-ho about the market as in the past. Viewership of financial television programs is at 20-year lows, especially in the coveted 25-to-54 age group. It’s a sign that even as the market climbs higher, interest in the stock market is falling along with volatility.

So who benefits: why Wall Street of course – the same source which eagerly passes one hot potato to itself after another, in the process CYNKing the S&P to higher records on ever declining volume.

On the other hand, the overwhelming view of Wall Street can be summarized by two Morgan Stanley analysts, who predicted that the S&P 500 SPX, -0.40%  will be at 3,000 in five years, a 50% increase. If they’re right, the Dow will hit 25,000 lickety-split. Dow 25,000 has a nice ring to it, and to Morgan Stanley and others on Wall Street, an additional 50% gain is actually a conservative estimate. This is a market that is unstoppable. If only they can convince Ma and Pa, the market would go even higher.